Virtue of Self-control

I don't know when the word "self-control" disappeared from my mental dictionary to apply to everyday life. I forgot about it for some time. Although I used it in lectures or books, it did not come into my daily life consciously enough. Usually, my pendulum has swung back and forth between a soft, malleable mind that personalizes or internalizes things I face and an ironclad confidence coupled with high self-esteem that often results in hurts and defensiveness when things do not turn out favorably. But today, in my trail walking, the word "self-control" abruptly came to my mind. It was like a lightbulb moment when I recovered a dormant concept of self-control---a virtue that helps to control one's thoughts and emotions and establishes the critical role of autonomy and agency.

More than ever, I also realize that self-control needs flexibility and a strong will about one's relation to self, others, and the world. It is a capacious yet self-determined response to things and people. In the end, robust mental health needs a balanced mode of rule between self, Other, and relationality. While self-rule is a sine qua non to human agency, it would be never complete because human conditions are uncertain and uncontrollable in many cases. What makes us whole is not merely a keen sense of self apart from other beings or realities but a sense of viable connection with them. Now the question is, How can one relate to them effectively and healthily while maintaining a robust self?